White Walls
by 911turbowriter
Summary: She had always wanted to know. She had always felt like she was holding onto her past like it was fraying string. When Alice becomes enlightened with the facts of her past she feels some relief, melancholy, and anger. Now it's Jasper's turn to help Alice.
1. Intro: She had always wanted to know

She had always wanted to know. She had always felt like she was holding onto her past like it was fraying string. Bella had helped her find some sanctuary, but it was not enough. It pained me to see her live her life like this. I craved to help her, but I knew there was nothing to be done. No matter what I did, I could not bring back those memories of her past. And even if I could, did I want to? Did I want her to feel her old feelings? That asylum must have been a morose and morbid place. Did I want my Alice to have to go through that again?

But on the other hand, would it not be a good thing to have a memory of your past besides waking up deserted on the cold street? Would it?

She always acted like nothing was wrong. Prancing and dancing around the house. Dressing Bella, and now dressing Renesmee. Marveling over Edward's pieces of music. Complimenting Esme's blue prints. Talking about Carlisle's patients. Being teased by Emmett, and assuring Rosalie that she looked good. And always comforting me. Always.

I was the only one who knew the truth behind her act. Not even Edward knew. She kept it hidden, and it only crawled out when she needed me most. The truth was that I was not the family's weakest link. Sure, I was one of the newest to the family diet, besides Bella, but I knew my past. I knew my past and I could move on to the future, and enjoy the present. But Alice couldn't. She couldn't go on forever without knowing what used to be.

But if the time came, how would I comfort her? She was the one always comforting me. I had grown tired of being so weak, but she had yet to tire from comforting me. She would rub my back and listen to my monotonous tales of my day. Of who I almost hurt. The stories of how I almost caved, but then the image of her beautiful face would appear in my head and I would remember who I was.

Alice was the one who would curl up on my lap and stare into my eyes for endless amounts of time. Who would be satisfied just watching me read about the Civil war. Who pretended to sleep, just to escape reality once in a while. Alice was the one who liked my scars. Who showed me that my past was a part of who I was, and that it should not be forgotten. She showed me that we learned from our mistakes. That our pasts made up the choices that we made in the future. Alice was my sun, my air, my comfort, my everything. Alice was my Alice. Mine. All mine. And I didn't deserve her.

I didn't deserve the right to "wake up" beside her every morning, a smile plastered across her face. I didn't deserve her to chide me for "not seeing how perfect I was". I didn't deserve the strong bond between us. The connection we shared. Both physical and mental. Our love was firm and never- ending. We never fought like Rosalie and Emmett. We never disagreed like Bella and Edward. We never viewed different opinions like Carlisle and Esme. We were always on the same page, our thoughts and feelings in sync with each other.

Answers and questions were asked and told through gestures and movements. No words were needed. We only comforted each other.

Alice had given me so much, and what had I given her? If only there was some way to make her see the light. Some way to show her, the past she had always dreamt of knowing. If only.


	2. You've kept me waiting

"Jasper?" Alice whispered, turning her little face towards mine

We were in our bedroom, and she was sitting on my lap as I sat on my arm chair reading a book about the civil war.

"Yes, Darlin'?"

"Did you have any siblings?"

"As a human?"

"Yes. I know that Edward was an only child. Rosalie had two younger brothers, and Emmett had brothers and sisters. But did you have siblings?"

"I did. I believe I had a younger sister."

"Like me." She smiled

"Yes, just like you."

"What was her name?"

"I honestly don't remember."

"Oh."

"Why are you asking?"

"I thought that maybe if I learned enough about everyone else's past I could try to see where I fit in. The closest person to me is Edward. I think we were both born at the same time, but I'm not sure."

"I think you're right. Edward and you were born in 1901, but Edward was changes at an earlier age than you, right?"

"Right. He was seventeen and I think I was nineteen."

"Alice. Why now?"

"I don't know. I just feel lost. I feel like it's my job to be the upbeat, sprightly one in the family, and I can't be fully like that if I'm sad inside. You know?"

"I know. Well, what do you want to know?" I asked, putting the book down and wrapping my arms around her tiny waist

"Tell me about you."

"Me? Don't you know everything there is to know about me?"

"I like your story."

"As you wish."

I took a deep breath and began.

"I was born, Jasper Whitlock in 1843."

"Where?"

"Texas, maim."

She giggled.

"You like my accent, don't you?"

"Yes. Keep going."

"Well, you know I had a sister and two parents, but that's pretty much the only details of my human life I can give you."

"So, how were you changed?"

"In 1863, when I was 20 years of age, I was a major in the confederate army during the civil war. I was changed by a woman named Maria, who approached me accompanied by two other vampires, Nettie and Lucy. Maria bit me and I worked for her as a sort of babysitter and trainer for newborn vampires. Eventually, I joined my friend Peter, who had run off with Charlotte one day. They realized that I became depressed after eating because I could feel the emotions of my prey. In 1948 I was in Philadelphia."

Her smile grew as she realized what part I had gotten up to.

"Though I hadn't hunted in a while, I decided to head into a local diner to avoid being noticed. I was worried because I was really, really thirsty and I didn't want to prey on an innocent customer. There was a really, really beautiful girl there. Her hair was the color of ink and it stuck out in every direction. Her smile was like rainbows of glistening white. She hopped down from the stool at the counter and beamed up at me."

"You've kept me waiting." Alice sang, as she had so many years ago

"And I said, "I'm sorry maim." And I took her hand. For the first time in a century, I felt hope."

"I'm glad my visions led me to you."

"Me too." I whispered, before kissing the crown of her head

"Then what happened?"

"The beautiful girl, Alice, and I stayed together for two years. Mostly, we shopped. But we spent those two years looking for a coven she had come across in some of her visions. There was something different about them. They only feasted on animals. Alice thought that this would help me, and I wouldn't be depressed after hunting. We found them in 1950, and then, our life together began."

"I think your story is my favorite."

"Mines the most boring out of the bunch."

"Well, yours is the most fairy tale like."

"I think not, Alice. We have a bear attack, rape, suicide, disease, hybrid vampire pregnancy, and an asylum."

"True. But I still like yours the best."

"If you need to hear it again, let me know."

"I will."

We sat in silence for a moment.

"I wish I could remember how I was changed." She whispered

I felt her mood alter. The happiness slipped away and became confusion and depression. I tried to force happiness upon her, but the melancholy overrode it.

"Jazz, don't bother." She told me, pressing her hand to my cheek

"I wish there was some way to show you your past."

"I wish there was too." She sighed

"Maybe. Maybe one day, you'll be able to remember. Maybe over time you'll be able to look into your past."

"I can't even remember my family. Did they love me? Did my sister like me? What did my father do for a living?"

I wanted to give her the answers. I wanted to tell her that yes her parents loved her. That her sister worshipped her. That her father was a successful man, who bought her everything her heart desired. But the truth was that her parents probably did not love her. Or maybe they did. But not enough. What parent who loved their child sent them away to an asylum? Faked their death?

How could someone not love Alice? So bright and happy. Cheerful and kind. Always helping others and putting them before herself. How could someone send that type of child away to an unknown place by herself?

"I'm sure they loved you." I lied

I hated lying to her, but what was I supposed to say? No, Alice, I think they thought you were insane. That's why they locked you away and faked your death.

"Not as much as I love you." She smiled, kissing my jugular

"I don't deserve you." I laughed, pulling her close to me and kissing her tiny lips

**Well, I'm glad you guys liked the introduction and hopefully you liked the first chapter as well. The chapters will get longer, I just didn't want to throw too much at you all at once. If you haven't figured it out, this story is about Alice finding out about her past through her visions. Jasper has always wanted Alice to find her past, but he's also worried that it will bring her pain. Let me know if you want some of this in Alice's POV as well. Review review review [=**


	3. Only a glimmer

So it was suggested by **Ilithya **that Alice should have all of her family members share how they were changed. You caught me! Am I that obvious? Yes. I intended on having each of the Cullens sharing their story so that Alice can make a connection that will hopefully trigger information about her past. I will also reveal why she had no memory of her past and why it has to be triggered. (The theory I have may be a little off because of the time, so I apologize, but I think that my theory works) On a side note, I got a couple of PMs requesting to make a cover for this book. If you want to I would love that. You can email the cover(s) to me [my email is on my profile]. I would love to, with your permission, post it as one of my book covers on my website [also on my profile].

So review, review, review. And also, do you want Alice's POV?

I watched with an amused face as Alice danced around preparing Bella for a weekend getaway with Edward. She was so excited that we were in charge of Nessie.

"Think of all that shopping, Jazz!" she had told me

"Alice." Bella complained

"One more curl. Just one more, Bella."

"Jasper?" Bella asked, pleadingly

"Alice, Bella hasn't gotten away with Edward since their honeymoon. Come on, let her go."

"Fine." She pouted, "Now shoo. I want to be alone with my husband too."

"And Renesmee." She reminded her

"But of course! Go, go!" she sang, waving Bella out of the bedroom

She turned to me, her eyes glittering with excitement. Her excitement and happiness were dominating her array of feelings.

"Why are you so excited, Al?" I laughed

"Rosalie and Emmett are going to tell me their stories."

"Well, that's good. And I'm guessing Edward will be sharing his when Bella and he get back?"

"Yup." She replied popping the "p".

"I hope these stories will trigger something about your past."

"They already did." She smiled, coming over and sitting on my lap

"They did? My story?"

"I remember dinner time."

"Dinner time?"

"When you were telling me about the diner where we met I was picturing it. I remember the disgusting smell of all of that grease and oil, but I was able to see a flash of something."

"That's great, Alice."

"It was only a glimmer." She pointed out

"Yes, but that means it could possibly lead to more."

"True."

"So what was the glimmer?"

"I couldn't make out the faces but I think I was at a table with my sister and my parents. There were fancy plates and silver wear in front of us, and I had to lean forward to reach the table."

"So basically you've figured out that you've always been a small fry." I teased her

"Hey!" she giggled, slapping my shoulder lightly

"Were the people in this "glimmer" talking?"

"Yes. But again, I couldn't make out anything. I heard murmurs, but no specific words, you know?"

"Maybe you'll see it again."

"Maybe."

"Knock, knock." Rosalie said, her voice filled with heavy sarcasm

"Come on in, Rose." Alice called

"The story teller has arrived!" she laughed, walking over to our bed and taking a seat on the edge

"Where's Emmett?" I asked her

"With Nessie downstairs. He'll bring her up when I finish my story. It is a little morbid after all."

Alice clapped her hands together like an excited child and leaned back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her once again.

"What do you want to know?" Rosalie asked

"Start with your human life. As much of it as you remember."

"I remember quite a lot. I guess I'll just give you a brief overview?"

"Sure."

"Well, I was born in 1915. I lived in Rochester, New York. My parents weren't wealthy, but we were well off, and I never had to worry about things such as the great depression. I was the only daughter to my parents. Sort of like their most prized possession. Because my beauty was like a gift to them. Something they were proud of. Something they bragged about and made sure that everyone knew about."

"Lots of pressure, I bet." Alice sympathized

"The worst. But at the time I didn't mind at all. As I've said many times before, admiration was like air to me."

"Go on." Alice urged her, but she squeezed my hand knowing what Rosalie was about to tell her

"It was 1933. I was eighteen years old. I was engaged to be married. Engaged to a wealthy man named Royce King. I was ecstatic. I couldn't wait to have an elaborate wedding where all the women of the town would envy me, and all the men would be jealous of Royce. I couldn't wait to see our fair-haired children frolicking in our yard.

It was a cold night. Too cold. I was hoping that the weather wouldn't continue to be like this for our wedding. Perhaps I should have it moved indoors.

Royce was waiting under the streetlight. I could hear him laughing and uttering foul language. He was with his other rich friends and he was drunk.

"Rosalie." I whispered, sending a series of calm feelings towards her to cancel out the rage and anger that was boiling inside her

"Sorry. Anyway, I won't go into details, but I was raped by my fiancée and his friends and left in the streets to die. Carlisle found me, and changed me with the hope of me being a companion for Edward as Esme was to him."

This time I felt the jealously slowly building and building. Rosalie would never get over the fact that Edward had no interest in her.

"Rosalie."

This time it was Alice who whispered her name, and Alice who calmed her. But with a smile.

"And that's that. That's how I was changed."

"Rose?"

"Yeah, Alice?"

"What do you remember about being human?"

"I remember waking up each morning and smelling breakfast from the kitchen. I remember when my father used to pick me up and twirl me around. I remember the gentle tug my mother used when my curls were knotted. I remember crying. And I remember laughing so hard that my breath was short."

"I wish I could remember those things." Alice announced in a distant and far off voice

"In time you will, I just know it." I told her

"Hey pixie!" Emmett boomed as he entered the room, holding a breathless and red-faced Nessie

"Hi Emmett! Hello, Nessie."

"Hi, auntie Alice." She smiled, waving her little fingers, but she didn't run to Alice. She ran straight into Rosalie's waiting arms.

"Hey, Ness." She smiled, and her mood immediately changed to motherly and happy

"Emmett. Why don't you have a seat next to your wife and tell Alice your story."

"Well, pixie, what do ya wanna know?"

"What do you remember about being human?"

"Sweet. I only remember a few things. Like I couldn't tell you anything about my family, but there is one thing I remember clearly."

"What is it?" she asked, excitement building in her once again

"Food."

Of course. Leave it to Emmett to remember the one thing that now repulsed us.

"Don't make that face, Jazz. Food is awesome! And I don't just remember food, I remember like all that stuff."

"Like meals?" I asked

"Yeah. I remember gathering at the table and talking while my mom passed around all of the stuff that she had made. She would ask us about our day and we'd tell her. Like every single detail. And when we were done, and everything had been cleaned up, we go dessert. Like a sort of prize, I guess."

"Dessert." Alice repeated, before her eyes glazed over and her body went rigid

I waited until she returned to the present. She blinked and then squeezed my thigh.

"What is it Alice? What did you see?"

"Dessert."

"See? I'm not the only one who's obsessed with food."

"Jazz, I saw it. I saw something. Not the future this time, but the past. My past. I have a past."

She saw her past.

Even though I had told her she would in time I had never expected her to see it so soon. It was indeed a miracle, and I was beyond ecstatic for her.

"That's great, Alice. Really, really, great. So, what exactly did you see?"

"Nothing much, but enough to fill my craving for a peek into my life before I was changed. I was sitting on my dad's lap. At least I think it was my father. He was singing to me, and it was really bad. Like, he was off key. But I was happy and I was laughing. My hair was long and curly, and he was playing with one of my curls, like Renesmee does with Bella. He was saying how full he was, and I was licking my fingers as if I had eaten something sweet. And that's it."

"At least it's something, Al. That means you'll see more soon."

"You think?" she asked, looking up at me with hopeful eyes

"Absolutely."

"Still wanna hear my story, shortie?"

"Why not?"

"Well, like my Rosie here I was born in 1915, but not in New York. I was born, Emmett McCarthy in Tennessee. In 1935 I decided to take a camping trip. But not with friends, that was for sissys. I wanted to go alone. Of course, this big irritable grizzly bear came up to me. He wanted my food! So instead of running away and giving in to the bear's wishes, I decided to fight back. Have my fun, right? So I taunted and teased it, and of course it attacked back. And man, that pain was like hell. I started drifting off. Saw the darkness and the light at the end of the tunnel and everything. Then I saw my baby. Who, of course I thought was an angel. So I didn't mind that I was dying. I knew I deserved to die, and hey, hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you. So there you have it. I hope that "triggers" something."

"Thanks, Emmett."

She was radiating sadness once again.

"Soon." I told her, "soon."


	4. A look into the past

"_William, will you open your eyes and take a proper look at her? She is not sane. She isn't healthy and we mustn't have her around Cynthia. She is not a good influence."_

"_Clara, leave her alone. She is merely a child. It's her imagination at play."_

"_Normal little girls don't run away from non-visible "red-eyed monsters" when they're in their backyard. They don't doodle the name of some boy they do not personally know on their slate board at school."_

"_Clara, leave her be."_

"_I cannot bear to see a child of ours live like this any longer."_

"_For the last time, there is nothing wrong with our daughter."_

"_William, I am begging you, please. Take one look at her. She's acting peculiarly. Please. What if she is retarded or has a mental illness?"_

"_She has neither, dear."_

"_And how do you know that?"_

"_She is a very bright young lady. Always proficient with your lessons, no? She always makes her bed and does her chores. Washes and arrives on time for meals. She is sane, and I couldn't have asked God for a better daughter."_

"_William."_

"_Drop it, Clara."_

"_But Josephine's little Hattie is the same age, and she makes these lovely grass dolls, and she sews."_

"_Clara, I asked you to drop the topic."_

"_But…"_

"_I am the head of this house, and I do not want this nonsense discussed, understood?"_

"_Yes, William."_


	5. Mary Alice Brandon

**Did I confuse you guys with the last chapter? If so, I really do apologize, but I wanted to through in a little twist. I figured that in between a few chapters of either Alice's or Jasper's point of view, I would through in a short little chapter that showed Alice's life before or during the asylum. This way the audience knows what's going on even if Alice does not. Cynthia is her younger sister. (This is mentioned in New Moon) Clara and William are the names I gave her parents. They were both found on the government's top 1000 name list of the 1880s. Remember, even though Alice will figure out her past she will never know actually what her family went through, and that is why I am going to throw these little things in. **

**So anytime one of those chapters go up they will be in italics, so that you know the difference. I hate to beg for reviews, but I take time out of my life to write for you guys, and although I have tons of traffics and addition to story and author alerts, I don't have many reviews. So PLEASE review. Love you all, and enjoy.**

**And thank you sooo much **_**SimplyDazzling**_**! I was having such a bad day, and your review cheered me up and made me feel so good about myself and my writing. I started this story as something to write during my writers block on my other stories, and it is now my favorite, and I hope that you all love it as much as I do.**

Alice's little body was hunched over her sketchbook. Her eyebrows were narrowed in concentration as she sketched. I leaned over her shoulder to see what she was drawing. It looked like the outlines of a woman. She wore a long skirt and a blouse, and she sported a dainty apron. But the woman had no face. No features. The picture was black and white.

"Alice?"

She smiled up at me in response.

"Who is this?"

"I think…that it's my mother."

"You think?"

"When I was seeing that memory after Emmett talked to me I was able to make out a woman. I would presume that she is my mother. I could see what she was basically wearing, but I couldn't see the details or what type of material. Or even the color. And what bothered me the most was that I could not see her face. I wonder what she looked like."

"Probably a lot like you." I guessed

"You think?"

"Beautiful clear water blue eyes that shimmered in the light. Long dark, black, midnight hair that settled in curls on her back. Small, of course."

"I wish I could remember what I looked like."

"We have that picture…" I started

Back after Bella had discovered some facts about Alice's past we had taken a visit to Biloxi, Mississippi. We found the asylum, which had been burned to the ground. We found her grave. We found her name. And we now owned a single, frayed photo, a file, a sketchbook and a notebook.

Alice had dry sobbed in my arms for hours that day. I took our discoveries and placed them in a shoe box from the previous season, and hid it in the back of the closet. We had found part of her past, but she had not been ready to see it.

I presumed that Alice's beautiful hair had been shaved off in the asylum for cleanliness purposes. The blue eyes, that could be explained without the facts or relics of her past. Her eyes were reddened by venom, and then changed to amber and then golden when she changed her diet. Her height. Well, that hadn't changed much.

"Could I see it?"

"Are you sure, Alice?"

"Yes." She nodded, "I think I'm ready now."

I got up and headed to the back of the closet. I felt around for the shoebox, and took it down, placing it in her miniscule hands. She lifted the lid, and took out the small, faded black and white photo, and held it up to her eyes. She studied it. A look of confusion on her face.

"How can this be me?"

This was one question that I didn't know how to answer, and I did not think she even wanted me to answer it. Instead, I thought back to that fateful day when we found her grave.

"_Mary Alice Brandon." She repeated, "Mary Alice Brandon."_

_Her little finger ran across the cool marble of the now crumbling headstone._

"_Beloved daughter." She scoffed, "If I was so beloved they would have believed me, not sent me away, and not faked my death. What kind of a person does that?"_

"_People who think they are doing the right thing. I'm sure they loved you, and just wanted to keep you safe and out of harm's way." I told her_

"_I don't know." She mumbled_

_It saddened me to see my angel so depressed. Her mood read depressed, enlightened, and confused._

"_Mary Alice Brandon." She repeated_

_I held her tight in my arms. She wrapped her tiny arms around my waist and breathed into my chest._

"_I don't understand."_

And to this point, neither did I. How could a parent be so cruel to their child? Were her visions so extreme that they were afraid for her mental health?

She handed me the photo.

"Which do you like better? My long hair, or my short hair?" she smiled, her mood lifting slowly

"They both look remarkable. But I'd have to say that the short hair is my favorite. More mature. And it makes you original. You stand out in a good way."  
"Me too."

"I'm glad." I whispered, kissing her forehead  
"Should I put the box away?"

"No."

"You want to look through it?"

"No, but I need it closer to me. It's my past, you know? As much of it as I have, anyway. I just want it around so that I know I have the ability to look at it when I'm ready."

"But you're not ready yet." I guessed

"I just need a little more time."

"Well, we have all of eternity."

"That we do." She smiled, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my shoulder

**By the way, the whole flashback is part of a series of flashbacks that will pop up here and there. Hope you enjoyed this. Please review!!!**


	6. She's always helping us

**It's finally up! Sorry for the huge delay. I'm slowly making my way back into regular updates, and I should be back on track until July first, when I will be leaving the wonderful world of fan fiction, to a scary, no-technology sleep away camp in New York. But I'll be keeping notebooks full of updates that will be ready to be typed up ASAP. Love you all. And here we go!!!**

"We're back!"

Alice flew out the door and down the stairs. Failing to hold back my chuckle I followed her down the steps and into the foyer where I found her wrapped around Bella.

"I'm so glad you're back. Ugh, what are you wearing?"

Edward and I started laughing.

"Don't you laugh." She warned him, turning to face him, venom in her words, her eyes blazing

"I guess that means she doesn't approve of your outfit." I told him

"Yes, this much I've figured out by myself." He smiled

Nessie came into the room and ran to Bella.

"Hi, baby girl." Bella sang, ruffling her bronze curls

At the entrance of Nessie, Alice's mood started to shift. I quickly sent as much contentment and cheerfulness as possible to her. Edward gave me a sideways look. He knew something was up. Would she care if I told him? No, probably not. They were the closest out of all of us. And besides, he would "read" it sometime.

_Alice has been having some flashbacks. She saw who she believes is her mother. She also saw her family resting after dinner. They seem to be triggered by our memories. And they keep getting longer and more detailed, although the last one she had was in black and white._

He nodded, telling me that he had perceived the message. His feelings matched mine. Joy, that Alice had been able to see some of her past, and most certainly more in the future. Sadness, that she would re-live her parents sending her away and faking her death. Fear, for what she may see or remember that she could not before. Curiosity, because we wanted to know about her years before, during, and right after the asylum up until she met me.

_Edward._

His eyes met mine.

_What if she remembers it? The transformation?_

His frantic eyes shot over to Alice who was chiding Bella once again. In other words, his fears once again were in line with mine, and he did not know what to do.

How many times had we both been ashamed of ourselves because we were monsters? Were we not monsters for now triggering visions of her past?

He cringed.

Should we have tried to stop Alice from searching for her past? No. She had the right to know it, and we would help her through the rough parts. But still, the pain she would have to endure…

"Would you two mind speaking out loud?" Alice asked, glaring up at us

"Now you know how I feel when you and Edward are having a private conversation." I smiled, trying to cover up my newest thoughts and fears

Alice stuck her tongue out at me, and I gave her a silly grin. Then her eyes glazed over.

We all froze and waited for her to come out of her trance. I looked to Edward for some sense of what she was seeing. He looked disgusted, so it obviously had nothing to do with her past.

Her focus returned and she looked up at me, with dancing eyes.

"I suggest we go upstairs and stay far away from hearing distance of the garage."

Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the sense of lust, and I could hear the garage door opening, and the sound of a car being unlocked.

"No control at all. Gruesome." Edward muttered under his breath

"You're not much better." I coughed

"Yes, but I am a newlywed. Emmett was changed in 1935."

"I'll give you that." I agreed

"Why don't we head upstairs so Edward and Alice can talk?" Bella suggested

"Good idea. And while we're up there, I can put you in an outfit that's worth being worn by you." Alice giggled, grabbing Bella's hand and leading her upstairs into our room

Edward placed his hand on my shoulder.

"We'll help her get through this."

"Of course." I agreed, "After all, she's always helping us."

"Come on. Maybe I can help her trigger something now." He smiled, making his way up the steps

I opened the bedroom door to find Bella sitting on my bed playing with Renesmee's curls.

"Where's Alice?" I asked her softly

She gave a nod towards the closet. I sighed. Edward made his way to my bed and sat down beside Bella. I walked over to the closet, and cringed at its appearance.

There was clothing strewn all over the floor. I picked up a pair of jeans that were taller than Alice.

"Should I even ask?"

"Jazzy, they're obviously Bella's jeans."

Oh, yeah.

"I've got it!" she squealed, holding a pile of clothing to her chest and dancing out of the closet

I bent down to pick up a few of the abandoned clothes.

"Leave it. I'll take care of it later." She said from the bedroom

Creepy how she did that. But every time I decided something, she was the first to know. Usually this was good. I flicked off the light and sat in my arm chair by the window. Bella was already changed, and even I had to admit that she looked 100 times better.

"Okay, Edward." Alice said sitting down on my lap and putting her arms around my neck, "Now you can start."

"Well, I was born in 1901 as you know. In 1918…

"The _whole _story, Edward. Please?"

"This is utterly preposterous." He mumbled

"Humor her." I pleaded

"As you wish. I was born in Chicago, Illinois in the year of 1901. The exact calendar date was the twentieth of June."

He paused and looked down at Alice.

"Do you want the specific time?"

"No." she giggled

"I was born into a moderately wealthy family. My parents were Elizabeth and Edward Masen. My father was a lawyer. In 1918, the year just before I was to be drafted, Chicago was overwhelmed with the Flu epidemic. Spanish Influenza, to be precise. My parents and I caught fever, and my father passed in a matter of days. My mother and I hung on longer. As you've heard many times, my mother, Elizabeth requested that Carlisle do one thing. She glared up at him from her cot, frail and weak, the fever about to overwhelm her, and demanded that he did what no others could do for her son. Minutes later she was taken under by the sickness. I was glad that she was out of her misery, but at the same time in a state of melancholy for my loss, although the sickness kept me from expressing this."

Alice was lost in the story, staring intently into Edward's eyes, begging for more. He looked to me for permission to continue. It was up to me. Edward, was one of the few of us who remembered every single wretched detail of his change, and he could share it with Alice, but would it trigger something?

I was reluctant to grant him permission to move forward, but I did so. Alice must have seen this because she gripped my hand for support. I squeezed it back.

It was a win and lose situation. A triumph that she would be able to see a major part of her past. A tragedy that she would be able to re-live that same part of her past.

I held Alice close to my heart, and sent waves of comfort towards her, as she had done so many times to me in a different way.

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	7. The boy with hair the color of honey

"_Daddy?" I heard a sob_

"_Mary Alice, sweetie, is that you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Climb on up here and tell me what's the matter." I patted the bed, and sat up_

_She did so, and I could see the tears streaming down her face._

"_What's the matter baby girl?"_

"_I-I saw them again."_

_I knew who "them" was._

"_The people with red eyes?"_

_She nodded._

"_Mary Alice, was it a dream? Or was it-_

"_A vision, daddy."_

"_And what happened?"_

"_They were- ea-eating another person."_

_Eating another person?_

"_What did the people with red eyes look like?"_

"_There were three."_

_I nodded, letting her know she could go on_

"_One was a woman. Her hair was unkempt. Improper for a lady. It was very curly and thick, and it was a vibrant shade of red."_

"_What was she wearing?"_

"_I don't know what it's called. It was odd. She was wearing pants. Ladies only wear dresses or skirts. Maybe…" she murmured_

_A woman wearing pants? Was it possible she was- No. It couldn't be._

"_And the others?"_

"_They were men. One wore no shirt. The other, a battered suit jacket. All three of them looked as if they'd been wandering around in the woods for years. Pale. Dirty. Strong. And they looked tortured. Like they were insane."_

_My poor little girl sounded insane. But I, unlike my wife, Clara, I, believed her. There was something about my daughter. So bright, so graceful. So honest. She would never tell a lie, and so I believed her. If she said she saw people with red eyes, then I'd try to see them as well._

"_Sweetie, have you had any other dreams or visions, tonight?"_

"_I had a good dream."_

_A dream. Not a vision. And a good one. This was a welcomed change._

"_There was a boy."_

_Now, my fist curled up. A child of such a young age should not be dreaming of boys._

"_How old was this boy?"_

"_I don't know. Maybe twenty something."_

_Not just dreaming of a boy, but a man._

"_Daddy, he was beautiful."_

_Beautiful, was he?_

"_He had hair that was the color of honey, almost golden. And it looked silver in the moonlight. His face was pale, like the people with red eyes, but his eyes were golden too. But more like a butterscotch problem. And there was a girl with him. She was very pretty too. Her hair was very dark, like the midnight sky, but it was short, and it stuck out in lots of different directions."_

"_What else?"_

"_They looked funny together." She giggled_

"_Why?"_

"_Well, the boy with the honey-colored hair was very, very tall, and almost scary looking. Powerful, maybe. A leader. And the girl was very tiny. Maybe only a little taller than me. But they were together, holding hands, in a field. And it was raining, and they did not even mind. They lay there, gazing into each other's eyes. An unspoken bond."_

"_That sounds like one of your fairy tale books."_

"_It does, doesn't it?" she mused, a smile now on her face_

"_Have you dreamt of this couple before?"_

"_Lots of times." She smiled, "But they never talk." She realized_

"_Do people talk in your other dreams and visions?"_

"_Yes, but these two never do. The only thing is that sometimes the boy looks like he's in pain, and the little girl comforts him. But still, they don't talk. They only smile, and laugh, and hold hands. It's like they tell each other messages with their eyes."_

_Insightful, wasn't she? But just because I believed her, didn't mean I liked that my baby girl was dreaming of strong men in pain._

"_Let's get you back to bed, sweetie."_

"_Okay." She yawned_

_I lifted her up and carried her into her bedroom._

_I placed her in her bed, and pulled the covers up to her chin._

_I started to leave._

"_Daddy?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_You believe me, don't you?"_

"_Of course I do. Why do you ask?"_

"_Mommy says I'm the devil's child. That I'm cursed, and that the first chance she has, she'll have me locked away."_

_How did Clara have the nerve to-_

"_I'm sure she didn't mean it, baby. Go to sleep. Have sweet dreams."_

"_You too, daddy." She smiled_

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	8. Farewell, Dear

"Jasper." She whispered into her pillow

I was sitting up in an instant.

"Alice? What is it, Alice?"

Her eyebrows were knit in concentration and frustration. Her little nose scrunched up as well. Her small hands gripping her short hair.

"Jazz." She murmured

"Alice, baby, what's wrong?"

"Jazz." She mumbled again

Carefully, I pulled her onto my lap, and soothed her as she sobbed into my chest.

"Shhh, Ali. It's going to be okay, angel. I promise."

"I-I know it's g-going to be okay, b-but it wasn't."

"The past is behind us. Everything's alright now."

She looked up at me. Her perfect marble features angry and sad. Her eyes watery. Basically, she was crying, although no tears would ever fall.

Keeping her cradled in my arms I leaned back against the pillows and played with her hair.

"I saw it."

"Your past?"

"There was a man."

"Did he hurt you?" I hissed

No one hurt my Alice and got away with it.

"Not that way. This man was a doctor. At the institute."

"What did he do to you?"

"I saw the day that I was admitted."

"The day that your parents…

"Yes."

**Alice's POV**

Clutching Jasper for support, I began to re-tell the events of my vision.

It had come to me in the middle of a peaceful, quiet, and blissful moment.

Jasper and I were alternating between taking turns whispering sweet nothings to each other and giving each other little kisses. Romantic. Quiet. Peaceful. Blissful.

And then my eyes glazed over, and my concentration was broken. My hand slipped from my husband's and to anyone who could observe me I could be seen staring off into space. But to those who weren't observing, the ones who were experiencing, were not merely spacing out. I was seeing my past.

At first this had been a good thing. Everyone in my family knew that I yearned to see the happenings of my past. I hadn't been able to trace the events I had experienced prior to my transformation. The only bad thing that occurred to me, was that I may remember the pain of my transformation. What I hadn't taken into account was the burden of my dark past.

A troubled child, carrying the weight of seeing the future. Parents who faked her death and enrolled her in a mental institution.

How could I not realize that seeing my past would be heartbreaking?

Jasper had warned me several times, but like me, at the same time he was happy that I would see the more joyful times in my life.

So here was another re-play of my past. And this time it wasn't good.

The vision started with who I presumed to be me and my parents. A little girl in a white party dress, dark ringlets framing her face, bright blue eyes. Like a midnight colored sky over a snow covered field. Little Mary Jane shoes with white lacey bobby socks. A tiny gold locket hanging from her neck. She stood in between a man and a woman. One of her hands in one of theirs.

Fake smiles on the parent's faces pretending that everything was okay, as they swung her little arms forward and back. She was giggling quietly. No idea why they were walking down the aisle of this sterile building, screams and yelling coming from behind the white doors.

The trio stopped at the end of the hallway where there was another white door, but this one was double-doored.

The vision was so clear that I could smell that clean and hospital like smell. I could hear the muffled screams coming from behind the door after they entered it.

"Hello. Mr. and Mrs. Brandon?" a man in a white lab coat greeted the couple, reaching out to shake each of their hands

"Please, have a seat." He smiled

Mr. Brandon sat in one of the chairs and sat the little girl on his lap. Mrs. Brandon, a frown on her face, sat down in the other chair. The man in the lab coat sat behind his big mahogany desk and smiled down at the little girl.

"You must be Mary Alice."

"I am." She smiled

"Well, my name is Dr. Beckenthal, and I am here, to help, you."

"With my visions?"

"Your visions?" he laughed, "That's what she calls them?" he asked the parents, ignoring her

"That's Mary Alice's little nickname for her dreams." Mrs. Brandon cackled

"Clara." Mr. Brandon hissed

I gasped out loud upon hearing my mother's name. Clara.

"Well, William, obviously she's crazy. Dr. Beckenthal, as you can probably guess, we would like to admit our daughter."

And my father's name was William. I was starting to see how it was. My father appeared to be the man who was on my side. The one who believed me. My mother, on the other hand, seemed to care more about her reputation rather than the well-being of her first born daughter.

"Clara, that's not what we discussed. We agreed that we were going to ask if there was any medication or treatment we could use to prevent our daughter from having these visions."

"Dr. Beckenthal, we would like to admit our daughter." Clara repeated

"Alright. Well, I'm going to need a copy of her birth certificate and a signature from the both of you."

"That's all?" Clara smiled

"Clara, could we at least think about this for a little while?" William pleaded

Clara ignored his previous statement and reached into her purse to find the birth certificate. She passed it over the desk.

"Now, there are two options. You can have an open admittance. Mary Alice will stay under our care, but you can visit her up to three times a week. And, if we're able to treat her problem, we'd be happy to send her home. Or, you can pass her over to the state."

"The second option is to disown our child?" William growled

"Why yes." He nodded, clasping his hands together, "Handing her over to the state is free. We gain full custody. We can try different methods on her. She'll stay her until her demise."

"Clara, I think the first option is reasonable."

"Dr. Beckenthal, I think the second option sounds perfect. Then I can use the money I had set aside as a fee, for something else." Clara decided with a smile, "So I'll take those forms now."

"Clara." William hissed

Dr. Beckenthal slid the papers to the edge of the table and motioned to the several signature lines at the bottom of the sheet.

Clara signed them all quickly, and then slid the papers to her left.

With a shaking hand, William signed the lines, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Mary Alice, baby." He whispered, kissing her forehead

"Well, I'll let you say your goodbyes now." Dr. Beckenthal sighed, standing up from his seat

"Goodbye, Mary Alice. Remember, I love you, angel, and I always, always will. Always. And yes. I believe you." William smiled, kissing her forehead again

"Farewell, dear." Clara muttered with a flick of her wrist

The couple left the office. Clara, with her eyes straight ahead, not looking back, and William with his eyes on his daughter, tears rolling down his cheeks, guilt in his eyes.

**Remember, the italicized chapters are not "visions" that Alice is seeing. It is factual content (story wise) that informs the reader about Alice's past. Meaning those scenes actually happened, but Alice hasn't seen it. This is the first chapter that Alice has seen her parents and heard their names. Chapters that are in regular type will have visions as opposed to the little excerpts from the past.**

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	9. I could only hope

**I am so sorry that I haven't updated this in ages, but I was at sleep away camp all summer, and then I had to get back into the swing of things again. Updates for this story will now go up on Fridays, and I will try to be consistent. Here we go. Remember, if I get a lot of reviews I update early and the chapter is longer. If not, you'll be waiting til the next Friday.**

_It was late. I drew back the covers from the bed and glanced over at my wife to make sure that she was still sleeping. Her black hair was sprawled out across the pillow, her cream-colored eyelids shut tight. Her chest slowly moving up and down, up and down._

_I got out of our bed and padded down the hallway. First, I checked on my youngest daughter, Cynthia._

_She lay in her bed, curled up into a ball shape with a little doll._

_I walked to her side and kissed her forehead, before heading out of the room to let her sleep in peace._

_Instinctively, I ventured into the next room, only to be met with the sight of plain white walls. No furniture. Only spare belongings tossed carelessly across the floor._

_This room had once held so much joy. Joy that radiated from a spritely, little girl, who talked nonsense in a way that made you want to listen and believe her. Fascinating stories, sometimes morbid, and sometimes pleasant, that she would relate to you in a quiet, ominous voice, almost begging to be believed._

_How had I ever let her go?_

_For Clara, I knew._

_As a young boy I had been friends with Clara, and so had our parents. When her parents died, my father and mother took her in, and made me promise to marry her. My father made me promise to listen to her every wish no matter how much it hurt me._

_At the time I could not fathom to think that one of her wishes might hurt me so deeply. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that she would wish her daughter away. That she would abandon her, and fake her demise just to keep her social standings._

_I sat down on the carpet with my head in my hands and sobbed quietly for my baby girl. I could have stopped this from happening. My father was long gone, and how would he know that I had broken the promise I'd made to him so many years ago? And surely, even if he had found out some way, would he not have agreed?_

_That was when I caught the sight of a doll in the corner of the room. I could not help letting out a soft, hearty laugh, as I saw which doll it was. This doll had very pale skin, a china doll, skin the color of snow. A beautiful blush painted across the cheek bones. The doll had golden hair that fell in long ringlets across her back and settled just below her waist. Her eyes were a deep blue, different from Mary's. While hers had been a beautiful soft, clear-blue, these eyes were almost a sharp, piercing, violet. She had named the beautiful doll after someone in a vision. What had the name been? Rosalind? Who knew?_

_That was when I was struck with inspiration. Even though my daughter could not be surrounded by the people she loved, couldn't I surround her with the things she loved?_

_I found a chest in our spare room, and I brought it to Mary's old bedroom. I began to fill it with the things my daughter had once treasured, and I hoped that they would bring her some sense of home and belonging._

_I placed the golden-haired doll in first, and then I gathered some of the books that she fancied and tossed those in as well. I placed a few frocks and tights in, and dozens upon dozens of hair ribbons, in various colors and shades. A few "fancy socks" as she called them, or white-laced fold over socks were added, as were another pair of shiny, black Mary-Jane shoes. I put a few fresh sketch books in the chest. _

_The next morning, I headed to the asylum, and ran into a care taker in one of the corridors._

"_." he frowned_

"_I'm sorry, but I do not believe that we have been introduced."_

"_My name is Charles Hawking. A retired doctor from this, here, asylum. I am now but a care taker for the younger patients."_

"_So you have become acquainted with my daughter?"_

"_Ah, yes." He smiled, "A charming little one at that. With such vivid visions. She had asked me to continue giving her lessons. She does enjoy to learn new things."_

_I reached out to shake his hand, and noticed that it was ice cold._

"_Would you mind giving her this trunk? It's only a few possessions, and I'm not quite sure if she is even allowed to have them…_

"_I would most certainly be delighted to give Mary Alice this very small token from her father."_

_I couldn't help becoming drenched in guilt._

"_Mr. Brandon, do not be upset, I know the decision was not yours. I see that your wife solely made the choice to disown your daughter, and I saw the funeral in the news, and I must say that you looked utterly miserable. This does not mean you are truly forgiven by me, but you are in no way as loathed by me, as your wife is."_

"_Thank you, I suppose." I laughed, but it was an empty laugh_

_He took the trunk from me and started to walk away._

"_." I called_

"_Yes?" he turned_

_I raced up to him, and dropped the tiny chain that had been in my pocket into his hand._

"_Could you also give this to her?"_

"_Certainly." He smiled, before bidding me good day, and returning to the door at the far end of the hall where behind, sat my daughter on some unsanitary bed with a sketchbook, no doubt._

_I hoped that he would really give her the locket I had handed him._

_A golden heart-shaped locket that I had given her for her fourth birthday. I prayed that she would wear this for eternity, and keep me in her heart._

_I could only hope that she still loved me enough to even glimpse at the necklace._


	10. Our paths will cross again

Jasper was out hunting with Emmett and Edward. I took this as an opportunity to face my fears and open the box that held the contents of my past. Or whatever small remnants of it I had.

I held it in my hands merely staring at it. How would this change me? Would it help or would it deepen my depression?

Many people would not understand the importance of this box. This small tangible memento of a life I had experienced that I would probably never fully understand or know. In a way it was a passage to my childhood. A time that was supposed to be joyous and carefree, but I feared that for me it had been the complete opposite.

Jasper and I had been happy for years. More than happy. Two people, well, vampires, deeply in love for years and for more and more to come. We had eternity and we were grateful for that. How then, would it be possible to have experienced that much joy as a human?

I knew that Rosalie suffered with this life because she could remember every distinct detail of her human life. But me, what did I have to remember but sadness? Surely it wouldn't matter to me that I could never be human. But for some reason it did. I wanted to be human to prove them wrong. To prove her wrong. My mother.

I wanted to be able to have a baby with Jasper, and raise it as best as possible, and never give it away or fake its death. I wanted to be able to go to bed at night knowing that I had accomplished all of my goals for the day.

It wasn't so much that I wanted to age and die as Rosalie did. I just wanted to do what my parents never did. I wanted to give life to someone else and watch them succeed. Watch all of their dreams come true, and see them accomplish all their short term and long term goals. I craved to put that A+ paper up on a fridge, and smile at it every time I went to prep dinner for my family.

I was content with Jasper, and I knew that I always would be, but a part of me sought after being human. To prove them wrong. To show them that I wasn't crazy. To show them that I would listen to my children and never think my social status was more important than their well being.

I pulled a small chain out of the box and examined it. It was a beautiful, gold, heart-shaped locket, very similar to the one that Bella had gotten for Nessie. In elegant script on the back it said, "believe". This made the venom in my eyes burn slightly. Someone in my past had believed me, and was encouraging me to keep my visions up. They supported me. I hoped that it was my father, and I felt that it was.

I fastened the locket around my neck and smiled down at it. Part of my longing disappeared. I already felt closer to my past than I had in years.

That's when it hit me.

The little girl was sitting in the makeshift office, but she looked different. Her head had been shaved, and it seemed to have begun to grow back, but was only about 3 inches long.

"_Mary."_

"_Yes, Charles?" she asked, looking up from the small cot she sat on_

"_I know it's difficult for you because of the surgery, but can you draw what you just saw in your vision?"_

"_I can tr-try." She stuttered_

"_Quickly, Mary. There isn't much time."_

_Her hand shook as she drew with the piece of charcoal along a sketch pad. The drawing was a man who's features were utterly beautiful but very nomadic looking. _

_Her trembling hand gave the notebook to him._

"_It's just as I suspected. How soon?"_

"_A f-few minutes, Charles."_

"_Can you give me any more details, Mary? I know it's hard, but please, it's very important for my safety as well as yours."_

"_He will e-enter through the door of the g-girls ward. He will come to this room. V-very quickly. Fa-faster than humanly p-possible."_

"_Mary put this on." He directed her, tossing his faded lab coat at her_

"_W-why?"_

"_To hide your scent."_

_The girl shrugged, and slid the coat over her faded nightgown._

_There was a loud crash, and a soft yelp from a little girl._

_Then a man entered the office and smirked at Charles._

"_Back so soon?" Charles sighed_

"_Just for a little visit, my friend. I see you're getting along with the new one."_

"_If you would give it a chance, you'd find that humans make quite interesting companions."_

"_I'll never understand your ways or your diet."_

"_You don't have to. But I do it to keep my job."_

"_Ch-charles?"_

"_Yes, Mary?"_

"_M-may I go back to th-the dorm?"_

"_Of course." He smiled, turning on the fan so that the other children could not hear his conversation with the strange man_

_Mary, thinking she was doing the right thing, handed the lab coat back to Charles._

"_No!" he practically shouted_

_Before she could process that she had done something wrong, the strange man from her vision was breathing in deeply and commenting on what he smelled._

"_Delicious. Like nothing I've ever smelled before."_

_Charles stepped between the man and Mary._

"_No. Leave her be. She's just a child."_

"_That's the way that you see it, Charles. But not me." He grinned, licking his lips in anticipation_

"_Please." Charles begged, "Not her."_

"_There's nothing you can do to stop me."_

"_There is, actually." He smirked_

_Charles grabbed Mary, and bit into the flesh of her neck. _

"_I'm sorry." He whispered, before moving to bite her ankles and wrists_

"_Go." Charles commanded_

"_You may have saved her but not yourself." The man laughed, grabbing Charles before biting into his neck and tearing his head off_

_The room was silent, except for the girls pants and moans of pain._

_The strange man continued to rip Charles apart, limb by limb._

_He collected the pieces, and smiled down at the girl._

"_Our paths will cross again one day, and you will rue that day. That day you will remember who saved you and you'll wish that I had killed you then. Instead you'll spend eternity wishing we'd never met. You have a very nice, mouth-watering scent. You should be proud. See you around, Mary." He laughed, before running out of the room._

"James." I breathed, as my eyes re-focused

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	11. You couldn't save me back then

**Yes, I am aware that I haven't update in almost a month, but that's because I told you guys that I would only update if I received 15 reviews. That never happened, so I'm writing this update with the hope that it will this time. "Premonition" will be updated tomorrow, "Happiness…" on Wednesday, "The Happiest place on Earth" on Thursday, possibly something new on Friday and "When Edward pulled a Romeo" on Saturday. Then, I'll be back on schedule with my updates. Let's see what Edward thinks of all this. Here we go (:**

I snapped the neck of the oblivious doe, letting the warm blood flow down my throat to satisfy the burning I had that radiated from my chest.

Emmett was off taunting a grizzly, no doubt. It amazed me that he was amused in seeking revenge from the one thing that had ever come close to killing him. If it were I, perhaps I would leave it be, in thanks for uniting me with my soul mate. But I was no Emmett.

_She's tensing up, she must be having a vision._

My focus snapped back to reality as I was met by Jasper's panicked thoughts.

I let my eyes search the premises in hopes of finding him. It wasn't very difficult.

He was pacing in front of a large boulder, his eyes still the same shade of pitch that they had been upon arrival.

"Jasper."

His head snapped up, and his eyes met mine quickly.

"She's having a vision." He stated, simply

I nodded.

"Hunt something quickly, and I'll head back with you."

"I should probably just jog back now." He murmured

_She's suffering. Her mood is changing quickly. Fear, panic, recollection, relief, fear._

"Starving yourself isn't going to help her." I pointed out, "If you are hungry, you might get into some trouble. She is usually the one who pulls you out of it, and if what you're thinking is true, you don't need to apply any more pressure on her than necessary."

_You're right._

"I'm always, right." I grinned, before turning to Emmett, "Finish up that grizzly quickly, we have got to get back home to Alice."

"There is nothing you can say that will stop me from demolishing this bear quickly and putting it out of its misery for that demonic little pixie."

"She had a vision."

"I'm finishing up." He complained

"Plus, Rosalie is planning to show you some things that she bought in out in California last weekend." I grimaced

"If they're lacy, I'll be right there." He boomed

We each finished up quickly, and jogged back to the house at a light speed, though Jasper sprinted forward.

We were in hearing distance of the house and the things that I could hear going through Alice's mind worried me deeply.

"_Delicious. Like nothing I've ever smelled before."_

Reminded me of the words that had been directed had Bella just a few years ago when she had been human. "You've brought a snack."

"_There's nothing you can do to stop me."_

Of course!

"Jasper, hurry, get into the house now, she's about to see…"

He was already up the porch steps and into their bedroom no doubt, and I followed closely behind as quickly as I could.

"_Our paths will cross again one day, and you will rue that day. That day you will remember who saved you and you'll wish that I had killed you then. Instead you'll spend eternity wishing we'd never met. You have a very nice, mouth-watering scent. You should be proud. See you around, Mary." He laughed, before running out of the room._

I was too late. She had seen it. The beginning of her transformation.

"James." She breathed, her eyes returning from their previously glazed over state, as I entered the room

She remained frozen, her eyes fixed on the wall in front of her.

Jasper gripped her shoulders and shook them lightly, but she remained unfazed.

"Leave her." I whispered

"Alice, where was James? What did you see?" he hissed

"I was…broken." She whispered, "I could h-hardly speak."

"Alice." He hissed again

She slowly turned to face him.

"I'm here baby, it's alright." He sighed, pulling her into his arms

"Let go." She murmured

"What?"

"Let go." She screamed, breaking his grasp, running from the room

"What the hell did she see?" he yelled, his fist shaking madly, his eyebrows arched wildly

"Something was wrong with her as a human right before she was turned by James. She saw how she was changed."

"Did she go through the change yet?"

"No, but probably soon…"

"Edward, do you think that maybe she couldn't remember these things, simply because of human tendencies?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned, sitting down on their bed

"Therapists usually find that many people block out bad memories or events to protect their brain. Like, self inflicted amnesia, almost. Maybe, as she was turning, her body and brain decided to block out the entire scenario in order to protect her."

"The idea is plausible, but think about your own transformation. Was your mind registering or deciding anything? I remember being horribly confused, and set on putting out that fire, that hurt. Thoughts of my family, my recent loss, my goals, everything, merely slipped away. Why haven't our own brains protected us from our change? Yours. Mine. Carlisle's. Bella's. Esme's. Rosalie's. Emmett's? Why only her? It's not like only hers was dangerous, or harmful."

"You're right." He murmured, "But what could have occurred at the asylum that would keep her memory away?"

"Well, you've watched television. Patients in mental asylums, what do they do to them to get rid of their craziness or illness?"

"Strait jackets, medication, therapy, electro-shock, lobotomies, counseling…"

"Wait, Jasper, go back."

"Counseling?"

"The one right before it."

"Lobotomies?"

"That's it." I gasped

"This is no time for jokes." He chided

"I'm serious." I called, heading over to his computer and searching the word

"I don't know the specifics, but I think they would try to remove the part of her brain that would receive the visions, and that would cause her simple skills, like speech and motor skills to be lost. Memory too. It all makes sense. It's like putting the pieces of a puzzle together."

"That's what you think?" Alice whispered, returning to the room, the rim of her eyes a bright red

"I'm so sorry, for yelling at you." She apologized to Jasper

"It's quite alright, darlin'." He smiled, kissing her forehead

"Edward, are you sure?" Jasper asked

"I think so. Maybe we should ask Carlisle what he thinks."

"I think you're right." Alice breathed, her tone caught between being horrified and over-joyous at the same time

"So that's it then?" Jasper asked, "After all this time that's the cause of why Alice hasn't had any recollection of her past?"

"Like I said, that's my guess, but we'll have to ask Carlisle…

"They cut her brain open?" he growled, "Like some kind of animal?"

"Jasper, my parents turned me over to the state. I was their guinea pig."

"To hell with them." He screamed, taking the computer and throwing it at the wall, breaking it almost completely, "No one should have ever done this to you. Ever." He yelled, throwing books and papers and anything he could put his hands on

"Anger isn't going to resolve the past." Alice murmured, putting a small hand on his shoulder

"I should have, I could have, Alice, I should have…"

"You weren't there." She smiled, "You weren't in my life yet. You couldn't save me back then."

"But I…"

"You saved me _now_."

**...REVIEW.**


	12. Empty Eyes

Okay, I asked for 15 reviews and I got only 12, but it's been over a month, so I'm updating. I didn't think you guys would mind. Feedback is greatly appreciated, as always (:

"_Don't we need to contact the child's parents?"_

"_There's no need. She's been turned over to the state. What we decide goes, there's no one to protest."_

"_You sure that this is going to work?"_

"_No." he laughed, "But that's why we're using her to test it out on."_

"_Why's she in the nut house?"_

"_Claims that she can see the future. Keeps mumbling about this guy with golden hair and people with blood-red eyes. You have to admit, it breaks your heart a little every time her eyes glaze over and she loses contact with the world."_

"_It is sad. Have you tried anything else to prevent these so-called visions?"_

"_Electro-shock therapy was the first solution."_

"_How did you proceed?"_

"_We kept her in a room with one of the nurses. Each time her eyes would glaze over, we sent a pulse of shocks through her body. We had thought that maybe she would notice the constant chain of events and would try to block her visions with the hope of not getting hurt. But 6 months into this treatment, she remains as she had been when it started."_

"_Such a pity. Well, we've no time to lose, let's bring her inside the room."_

_They wheeled the young girl into the room they were using for operation, and began to buzz her hair._

_When the scalp was completely bald, they did their best to put the girl under._

_The okay to go was given, and the head doctor described what it was that he was about to do._

"_We will make an incision straight across the patient's head. We will cut the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex. This is the anterior part of the frontal lobes. It will hopefully cease the trigger to the girl's visions."_

"_Why will this method, work, while others have failed?"_

"_The failed attempts, like the deep sleep therapy and cardiazol shock therapy, were things that we, ourselves, could control. Perhaps, she was smart enough to acknowledge that. So, in turn, the only way to stop the visions is to physically remove them."_

"_What are the risks we are about to take?"_

"_Death, of course, as with any surgery. Loss of motor skills. Permanent brain damage. Epileptic seizures. Severe quietness. Word deafness. Yes, major faults, but nothing we are not willing to risk. After all, she is quite ill, and we could be locking her up in a room with dim lighting instead of attempting to save her. We could fix her, or we could let her remain in a sickly state."_

"_If anyone disagrees with this course of treatment you are now free to leave."_

_The room remained silent, except for the shifting of feet in the anticipation._

_The doctor held up the rusty knife and pressed it to the crème colored smooth scalp._

_Place, down, in, deeper, further, continuing, straight into a line, that left a trail of deep, burgundy blood._

_The cut was gone over again, the gash's depth almost doubling as it cut into the brain, blood squirting out._

"_Sir?" a nurse spoke_

"_Yes?"_

"_You've made the cut, all that's left is to remove that portion of her brain."_

"_Okay, we're now removing Mary's brain."_

* * *

"_Mary, pick up this cup for me."_

_The girl in the dirty nightgown reached for the plastic cup, and it tumbled out of her once-sure hands._

"_Alright, we'll work on that later." The caretaker sighed_

_The teenage girl had the mind of a developing toddler._

"_Let's try writing again, okay?"_

_She nodded and clumsily gripped the charcoal with un-firm hands._

_The caretaker drew first._

Mary

_Mary leaned over and began to draw the M, but it was distorted and unaligned. It pained the caretaker to see this._

_A child so vibrant, bright, and joyous, who now had nothing left._

_He sighed in frustration again._

"_How about we try speaking again, okay? You're getting better at that."_

_She nodded once more._

"_Repeat after me. My name is Mary Alice."_

"_M-m-my n-na-name is M-M-Mar-Ma…"_

_She couldn't even pronounce her first name._

"_How about, My name is Alice."_

"_M-my n-n-na-name i-is A-Al-Alice." She smiled_

"_It suits you." He grinned_

_She gave him a small smile back._

_He picked her up and took her back to her cot._

"_C-c-can I p-play w-with t-the b-bl-blocks?" she mumbled_

_He nodded, and placed the crate of letter blocks on the bed beside her._

_She clumsily shuffled through the box and found several letters that she placed out strategically on the bed._

THANK YOU

_She may not have been bright any longer, but she was pretty intelligent for someone who had been permanently damaged._

_The caretaker was dying to change her. Dying to give her the ability to see what she pleased. People who loved her or visions or just plain life. He yearned to give her the possibility to be intelligent again. To be witty and quick as she once was._

_He remembered the day she entered the asylum. Her long, black curly hair, that was now completely gone. Her upper-class, beautiful name, Mary Alice, that could no longer be pronounced. Her pretty dress that was tarnished and frayed, and had been replaced with a ratty nightgown. Her eyes once filled with wonder and hope and imagination, now as dead as her brain. No light in them at all._

**This chapter was sooo hard for me to write. 10 reviews until next update (:**


	13. Epilogue: Eternity

**I am so, so, so sorry! I should be sending flowers and chocolate to all of you. I hadn't realized that this has yet to be updated for 5 months! I swore that I would never do that to my readers, and now, look what I've done. This story wasn't on hiatus, and was meant to be updated once a week, so I really do owe you 20 updates. But, I'm not really feeling the flow anymore, and I think it's best to just finish this up now. I had major writer's block, and kept procrastinating, and writing new stories, instead of waiting for inspiration for this one. I apologize, and hope that some of you are still with me. So, here we go!**

**Previously:**

_"They cut her brain open?" he growled, "Like some kind of animal?"_

_"Jasper, my parents turned me over to the state. I was their guinea pig."_

_"To hell with them." He screamed, taking the computer and throwing it at the wall, breaking it almost completely, "No one should have ever done this to you. Ever." He yelled, throwing books and papers and anything he could put his hands on_

_"Anger isn't going to resolve the past." Alice murmured, putting a small hand on his shoulder_

_"I should have, I could have, Alice, I should have…"_

_"You weren't there." She smiled, "You weren't in my life yet. You couldn't save me back then."_

_"But I…"_

_"You saved me __now__."_

**Jasper's POV:**

"No one should have ever done this to you." I sighed, wrapping my arms around her, as she laid her head on my chest

I was still fuming, and nothing that anyone said would calm me down. How could someone do something that horrible to a child? Had they no conscience?

I looked down at her beautiful face and frowned.

"Alice, your eyes are black."

"I'm fine." She murmured, burying her head against me once more

"No, you're not. We're going hunting, right now. Just the two of us."

_Edward._

He tossed me the shoe box of various things and I nodded my head in thanks, leading Alice out the door, down the steps, and outside.

We walked in silence, hand in hand, until we were deep into the woods, and in another state.

"Jasper." She sobbed, pulling me down on to the ground, crying into my chest

"Shhh." I whispered, pulling her closer to me, as I smoothed her hair and let her cry

It killed me to see her so morose and vulnerable, as she was usually vibrant and spritely, keeping everyone positive and happy.

"I'm so sorry." She sniffed into my shirt

"Sorry?" I laughed, "Why are you apologizing to me, darlin'?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, and all of that. If I never wanted to know, none of this would have happened. You wouldn't be upset, I wouldn't have been so confused and angry. No one would have been brought into this mess if it wasn't for me. I'm so damn selfish, and I don't deserve any of them. We should leave, Jasper. Be on our own again, like in the fifties. We don't need to cause anymore havoc around here."

"Alice, you don't mean that. You have every right to know your past. It's a part of who you are. And we're not leaving them. You love them. These people, are the family that you never had. Esme, is your mother, not the woman who faked your death to maintain her social standing. Carlisle, is your father. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are your siblings. Renesmee is your niece. What more could you possibly want? They all love you so much, and want to be here for you. You can be yourself around them, Alice. You brought me here so that we could be as human as possible for what we are. But you also brought me here, because there was a part of you that was missing, that I couldn't help mend. You needed a family. You needed a sense of belonging, and you aren't throwing that away to go live with me and that damn shoe box in the woods somewhere like nomads."

"Jasper, I know you're right, but are you sure-

"Alice." I smiled, taking her hands in mine, "This is your family, and this is where you belong. With them. With me. I love you. We all do."

"I love you, Jasper."

"I'm glad." I murmured, pulling her face to mine, "May I?"

"You may." She grinned, placing her lips to mine

"Jasper?" she panted

"Mmm?"

"Can I see that box?"

"Alice, I'm not sure that's the best idea."

"Please?" she laughed, jutting out her lower lip and giving me her best puppy dog eyes

"Alice…

"Trust me, Jazz." She giggled, taking the box from my side, and standing up

"Jasper, you were right. My past will always be a part of who I am, and this is my family. You're my family. And you've done for me what no one else can. You've stuck with me through everything, and helped me while I found my past, even though you knew it would upset me. And I'm not that girl in the asylum anymore."

"You're my Alice, you always have been and always will." I promised her, standing beside her

"For all eternity." She smiled, taking the picture of herself out of the box

"Goodbye, Mary." She frowned, throwing the photo in a nearby stream

She started to shake the rest of the contents in the stream, but when I saw a flash of gold, I reached out and caught it.

"Don't. Not this." I stopped her, fastening the locket around her neck

"I love you, Jasper. Let's put the past behind us, and work on our future."

"I think I have the perfect idea." I murmured, taking the box from her hands and throwing it to the ground

"Oh do you?" she smirked, tangling her hands in my hair

"You've kept me waiting, Jazz."

"I'm sorry, ma'am."

"Don't apologize to me, major." She laughed, bringing her lips to mine

**And that's a wrap. I'm not in love with it, but if my writer's block ever goes away, perhaps I'll go back and make some changes, or add a bit more. Yes, it's finished, but if I get some REVIEWS I'll add some outtakes like more flashbacks and memories. Thank you all!**


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